Tw-Inlaw Corner
Here’s some shit…No one tells you that having kids is like when Frodo puts on the ring and the wraiths can see him. The problem is, ANYBODY can be a wraith. Wraiths are your in-laws, other parents, your best friends, and/or COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGERS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. So you birth tiny humans and think you’re alone in your own world...
but instead you start being literally followed by a horde of elderly assailants trying to touch your kids,
and tell you things that they for whatever reason feel you cannot live another second without knowing. For example, that they once knew a set of twins growing up in their small hometown back in Michigan. Now you see, twins were rare then, and while they were about 8 years younger than said “paternal” twins, they didn’t really KNOW the twins, but they HAD seen them in passing from time to time. It is believed that one of them was named Billy, but it’s impossible to know for sure what the other twin’s name was…perhaps Sally, or Cindy… don’t worry it’ll come to them by the end of this story telling…
Now, at this point, you’ve surpassed being Frodo and become Gollum (“my precious!”). Truly, HOVERING over your children, blocking every attempt at a decrepit hand reaching for one of your children’s faces! FACES! I mean really, who touches a stranger’s kid’s face?? I just can’t! We honestly went so far as to buy stickers that read, “PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH”, for our stroller because we couldn’t take it anymore. Now that was a tangent for sure, but I’d say it’s an accurate representation of what you will find in this category… Stories/advice/scenarios that you did not ask for, but that having children created an all access pass to!
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